i must apologize with all these 'sex' songs.. not sure what's come over me. so i recorded whatever came to mind on my ipad voice memo and it's kind of embarrassing. but.. i know i'm gonna have to get over that because i'm gonna have to let you hear it one of these days.
i go to movies for the same reason i read books, to learn, to experience. but at the same time i am also a stanislavski trained actress. therefore i am very much detail oriented. i try not to let bad acting bother me but when it's really bad, it really bothers me. so here goes my blog about "drive".
oh, and i must say i loooooove ryan gosling. although his latest movie with another actor i adore, steve carell "crazy stupid love" failed to wow me. it was the script for sure, not the entire script but just near the end where steve carell gets sappy.
back to "drive", i was engrossed by the script, by ryan most of all, the entire movie, but the ending failed me. i was sitting there thinking 'wow, this might go down as a 'great' movie people will remember for years to come, because it had originality. but i was wrong. ryan might have put a spell on me. he does that so well. but i came out of the theater with nothing. nothing at all to hold on to. nothing to ponder over or be upset or happy about. except of course happy that i got to watch ryan for almost 2 hours of film. but nothing about the story gave me a deep spiritual jolt i usually crave. but that's alright. i'm still glad i saw it!
i thought i'd start a little series on "decluttering" because i think it's a really important process we all need to partake in. everyday.
thanks to brooks palmer and many other authors of the subject we can start today. it's never too late.
so one day while brooks and i were on an excursion to a movie theater he tells me "i just got rid of a box of poems i wrote a long time ago." i said "what??!??????" i couldn't believe he said he got rid of an ENTIRE box of old writings of his, so i was a bit confused. i mean.. how could he get rid of a part of himself. his work, his writings, his past, his, i mean i could go on and on..
i didn't understand it. to this day i am not sure i can just throw away a bunch of my writings. but brooks did and that's exactly what he means when he talks about decluttering. clearing your (phychic) clutter.
what are you holding on to that could help you become a new you.. the you that's meant to be..
if you haven't gotten rid of anything that drastic, maybe it's time..
i hope your 2010 is taking you to places you've never been! i know mine is :) i have so much to share.. but this subject stood out for me today.. thinking of you of course.. :)
yesterday I was with my friend brooks palmer. brooks has always been very intuitive and so i wasn't surprised when he told me years ago that he's writing this spiritual way of "clutter busting" (letting go of clutter) or "letting go of what's holding you back".
today his book is available everywhere if you're ready for it. its title of course is "clutter busting - letting go of what's holding you back".
what IS holding you back? maybe now is the time to let go.. it's frightening i know but make this new year the year you stop limiting yourself and let go of your old perspective of who you are.. and see the you that's really meant to be..
all my love and respect.. always..
..and an early valentines wish!
charles dickens once said "A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to the world!"
it's a NEW year!!! A new chapter, new questions, new answers, new dreams, new hopes, new changes, etc.. a new year!!! i thank you for all of your continued wishes..
now I dare you once again to dream.. they say "only dreams give birth to change".
what are your most private aspirations? I would love to know.. but even if you don't feel like sharing here.. I want the most important person - YOU - to know it, to trust it, cultivate it, to live it.
my most private (well not so private anymore), it hasn't been for quite some time now. is to be able to be there for everyone who needs me. I have always had the compassion to feel, to be there for my friends and family and I only wish I had more time to share, to listen, to truly be there. but through the years I have found a way.. I way to share, I way to listen, I way to truly be there.. and that is simply through my MUSIC. And that is what I live for..
again you've all been such a blessing to me. i'm glad you're listening and always know that I am here for you..
happy NEW year!!!
dream.. TRUST it and LIVE it. Dreams DO come true.. this I know :)
what better time to talk about "god" than on christmas eve.. i just read this post from a friend, "blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!" by hamilton wright mabie so is god.. love? i read this comment just now too.. "tey you always put a lot of yourself out there showing how much you care, i well have the honor to welcome you into heavens gates even if there is no gates. heaven will love you just as much! merry christmas!" and this comment right after, "trust he made us cause he love us!!!" if you believe in christmas then do you believe in god? "o holy night" do you believe in this song? i've been dying to know your thoughts and feelings and beliefs and whatever you or i or we might call them.. as always.. thanks for sharing.. and love always.. merry christmas.. merry everything..
.. as their options? they name tiger woods, bill clinton, brad pitt, hugh grant, kobe bryant..
are men ONLY as faithful as their options?
how about women? are women only as faithful as their options as well then?
i know men are women are made differently.. VERY differently but i just wanted to be fair :)
talk to me cause i have heard all sides..
i received a heartbreaking email the other day from a friend here on myspace. i have also met him recently at a show in chicago. at the show i could tell he was having a hard time but at the same time very positive about life and his music. he dropped me an email. here it is.. (don't worry i have his permission to publish it)
"I ask you humbly, on one knee if possible, what it can mean to be truly and utterly happy? I've been mired in a negative miasma for months, clinging weakly, akin to drowning with no air to reach. Over the weekend some of these hang-ups came to light after a bad falling out with a now former friend in my "scene", and while I know she would've said a lot of that shit to poke at me, I can't help but look back on it and realize it may be the truth leaking out. I've been miserable for far too long, and want out...not only out of this degrading music scene populated by nay-sayers and backstabbers (and obviously enter a new one where my skills can be appreciated), but out of the smog they emit, the soul-crushing, volatile detriments of false hope and fake sincerity. I ask of you as I fear I may not be able to do it alone...how can happiness and contention be achieved?"
please.. if you have any words, any music, or any thing at all, to console him. please don't hesitate to help because i'm sure each and everyone of us have dark times such as this..
i do believe time heals all wounds and as long as we're living, we will always experience pain. but i do encourage you to learn from it, and to embrace it because without pain, we cannot appreciate pleasure. and i know that this life brings more pleasure than pain.
as for the music industry or the entertainment industry in general, it the road less traveled because if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. but whatever you decide, make sure it's for you and not for anyone else.
again, i wrote this song knowing that the road to happiness, is the same road to "me" and only you can bring happiness into your own heart.
i get alot of email everyday asking me about the music/entertainment industry.. and my first response is always.. (well it's in this video)..
after you truthfully answer the question and if (and only if) you are willing to give all you've got and even 'all you don't got' then ask me anything here. i'm sure your questions will help many..
and please.. i ask for answers too.. if you think you have the answer then don't hesitate to share. you know i always love hearing from you :)
i have to warn you though that i or others here will probably have answers you may not want to hear.
passion's a big word. and finding your passion doesn't always come easily. so how do i find it you ask..
they say if u think love needs to look like "romeo & juliet" then you might overlook a great relationship that grows slowly. and if you think you haven't found your passion yet then you probably think it should be overwhelming.
when i first started doing music all i wanted was for it to supplement my true passion at the time which was acting. i figured it could only boost my acting career.. but here i am with a single, an ep, and 5 full albums later. and writing songs like there's no tomorrow :)
so no, passion doesn't have to strike like lightning. not right away anyways :) but it does come in doing what your heart calls for. everyday. every moment you can spare.
i hope you find your passion if you haven't already. and may you keep finding more passion cause i know i do.. a song doesn't fail to keep me up at night when i need to be sleeping..
as you well know i always say or write to you "i hope all's well" and i know that you know that i mean that from the bottom of my heart. i always wish you happiness.. but what does happiness mean to you?
and alot of you let me know how you are doing and i'm always happy to hear from you! and so i decided to write this blog because happiness is a complicated and most desired state.. (or so we think) but do we really know how to reach it? or accept? or live with it? what IS happiness to you?
i leave you with this conversation from yesterday (leaving their name out :)
TEY: i hope all's well..
FRIEND HERE FROM MYSPACE: well it always seem i want what i can't have-how about you? you feel that way sometimes?
TEY: lol. not really :) because the grass may seem greener on the other side but it usually isn't. be blessed and thanks for sharing.. wishing you the best weekend :)
FRIEND HERE FROM MYSPACE: yes-maybe one day it will be just as green on both sides! amen!hehe
..and this song which to me is about finding your happiness inside.. finding your way to YOU :) "on my way to me" :)
i'm sorry to say but i didn't know anything about these photos until just now. one of my friends here on myspace wrote me this:
"I have a question...how do you feel about the whole Miley Cyrus Asian eyes photo...I'm wondering an Asians view point seeing as how Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls made "Big White Round eyes" in Gwen's Holla Back Girl...please elaborate" - kj
i guess there's a $4 billion class action law suit filed against her claiming discrimination
on Bill O'Reilly 's show it was called a "..silly, stupid, dopey photo.." and O'Reilly himself said that "we all know this is stupid.." and that this is a "..ridiculous complaint, has no basis.."
furthermore this is what kj had to say when i asked him for his opinion.. "my point is it right to yell racism when a caucasian promotes it in their video...I never said to Gwen...Hey...I want 4 billion...cause we know...there is no..."WHITE COALLITION ASSOCIATION"...cause then I would be called rasist...and I'm not...for the world to stop being rasist...we need to stop complaining as well..."
at the moment i'm not sure what to say or how to feel about this, maybe i'm still in shock :)
i would love your comments or more information on this if you have any.. because before i have an opinion i prefer to know the "entire" story.. right now, i feel i don't..
thanks for being there :)
and i have to add.. that not many things offend me, or i don't get offended easily :) so don't worry about my feelings here.. say what you have to say..
you can also always write me at firstname.lastname@example.org