"IN LUST" WITH CHOCOLATE

 

 

IN THE MOMENT OF WHAT?

 

For months I walked around not knowing where I was, where I had been, where I was going.  And that was OK.  

I’d like to say I was “in the moment”.  But in the moment of what?

Desperation?  Weakness?  Self Loathing.  Disbelief.  Rage.

 

HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN BREATHING SO SHALLOWLY?

 

I needed my breath.  

I needed to take deep breaths.  How long have I been breathing so shallowly?  I couldn’t remember what came before.

 

I NEEDED SOMETHING

 

My book begins:

“CHAPTER ONE:  NO LOVE SONG

We have no love song because there was no love. It wasn't real so we have no song.

I was walking through the airport on my way back to Chicago and a song was playing. A song I have never heard of before. Filled with beautiful sounds. I was mesmerized. What a beautiful love song I thought.

I would have been nostalgic if what we had was true. I might have even shed a tear. I might have missed you even for just a song. But I couldn't do any of that because it wasn't love. It wasn't real. It wasn't anything at all.

I was dead inside. In mourning. But I wasn’t even in my right mind to know what I was mourning. All I knew was that no love song could make me feel a thing, no matter how beautiful.”

I NEEDED SOMETHING.  

I have always been close to God, but I wasn’t sure what God was telling me anymore.  I wasn’t sure who I was anymore.  Has it always been me who was listening?  

It felt as if I wasn’t even there anymore.  Whose thoughts was I entertaining?  Whose body was I occupying?

 

JUST BE

 

Though I have been practicing the physical part of yoga (asanas / poses) since the 90’s, it was not until I met “My Darling Sociopath” that I looked deeper into the philosophy of it.  The book on my experience with a sociopath is pretty much done.  But my studies and deliberation, in the abundant meaning of yoga as “yoke”; “union” with our true selves; body, mind, spirit connection, is, and always will be: ongoing.  

As many yoga practitioners and instructors alike, we grasp for yoga in times of pain and suffering, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.  In our darkest days, we must allow our souls to be expanded in order to find peace.  Love again.  Or we can also call it bliss, divinity.  Whatever you want to label it doesn’t really matter.  Just be. 

 

 

".. so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key

 
 

"love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re c

 

 

bring your own sunshine

 

 

it is your life.. don't allow others to live it for you..

 

 

one of the smart ways to spend one dollar is to "support your favorite artist"

 

says an article by Madeleine Scinto today! she also says "There are lots of stupid ways to spend a dollar.

You could blow it on a bar of candy, which gives you a couple of minutes and gives you a bunch of empty calories.

You could buy a lottery ticket, which is in fact the equivalent of paying someone to take your money.

Or you could think outside the box and get something actually worthwhile.

1.  Feed a Family in India for the Day

2.  Prepare a Vegetable Meal -- and Better Support Your Local Farmer Too

3.  Get Sweet Threads at a Thrift Store

4.  Support Your Favorite Artist

5.  Spring for a Small Gift

6.  Share a Glass of Wine With a Friend (Two Buck Chuck)

7.  Buy a Used Book

8.  Put Air in Your Tires or Vacuum Your Car's Interior

9.  Reach Out and Touch Someone

10. Put It in the Bank